I am completely obsessed with Michael Jackson. Since his death, all I listen to his music. Even if my iTunes is off, I am singing his songs aloud. Every day, a different song becomes the soundtrack to my day. Today, it’s “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough.”

Thursday, it took a few hours for it to sink in. He’s gone. He’s out of my life. For hours the night of his death I watched one video after another. I started with his more recent work, then to his earlier years. Then, I was obsessed with finding every Jackson 5 cartoon I could find.

I came to realize I was not alone. Everyone I know is all Michael, all the time.

Saturday night, I went with a friend to a TriBeCa nightclub that was spinning Michael Jackson songs. At one point the DJ started playing crunk and everyone started shouting “Michael!” The DJ quickly changed course and played a string of hits: “Beat It,” “Billie Jean,” and “Thriller.” We had a blast.

Of course part of that obsession is trying to come to an understanding of why he seemed so tormented. His dad beat him and berated him constantly. (Joe Jackson nicknamed him “big nose.”) He barely had a childhood and was surrounded by greedy people who viewed him as a cash machine.

I think it’s unfair to judge him. There’s no way that any of us can understand the forces that turned him into the person he became.
RIP MJ.

Don’t want to let you go. I can never say goodbye…